


life is meant to be cruel

by Ephemeral_Blossoms



Category: Naruto
Genre: Abuse, Angst, M/M, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 08:24:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5659444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ephemeral_Blossoms/pseuds/Ephemeral_Blossoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Abused by his father and haunted by his past, Sasuke soon realizes that the ugliest one is himself. / "You think I'm hideous, don't you?" / "I think you're beautiful." / AU High school. Eventual NaruSasu.</p>
            </blockquote>





	life is meant to be cruel

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted this story on ff.net, but I am now trying to migrate to AO3! Quite a few chapters of this story are already up on ff.net, but I'll try to post a chapter here every two weeks until it catches up to where it currently is. I've been writing this story for a few years now, so some of the earlier chapters might not be as well written as the later ones. Thanks for reading!

**"Light thinks it travels faster than anything, but it is wrong.  No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."  
**  
**~ Terry Pratchett**

* * *

  
I never imagined it would end like this: lying sprawled on my damp basement floor, unable to move, and barely left with the strength to breathe.  My nose feels so disconnected from my face that I have to breathe as much as I can through my mouth, but the air burns at my throat; it’s so raw from vomiting blood.  I can barely even see anymore.  My vision is cloudy, and everything seems so far away from me.  It’s like I’m no longer a part of this world.  The strange feeling of my own blood pooling beneath me doesn’t even frighten me anymore.  The sounds of screaming from upstairs are hollow, and I can no longer tell whose voices they are.  They all sound the same to me, and they’re blended together...I can’t tell one sentence from another...  
  
Is this what it’s like to die?  
  
_“Sasuke!  Where are you!?”_  
  
I’m in so much pain, yet I feel numb at the same time.  Hot, yet cold.  I’m positive my arms are broken too, if not shattered, and my legs...I couldn’t move them last time I tried, but now I can’t move anything anymore, so it doesn’t really matter.  Now that I feel so displaced and empty, I can’t bring myself any longer to care - it’s too late for that.  My family never needed me.  My friends (if I can even call them that) didn’t know my true self.  Everything...I wonder if it really mattered at all.  All I know, or all I think I know, is that...this is the end.  
  
The thought of death breathing in my face is, to be honest, a little frightening.  I never got the chance to do anything worthwhile, and I only made mistakes.  I disappointed everyone who ever knew me, and now I don’t even know what’s going to happen to me.  Am I going to hell, heaven, or...nowhere at all?  Am I afraid of the unknown, or am I just bitter and disappointed that I couldn’t be a better person?  I always thought I didn’t deserve to live, but now that I’m finally losing my life, I don’t know what to think anymore.  Maybe I think I deserve a second chance at life?  That can’t be...I think...I just wish that I had been a better son.  I was always a monstrous, hideous disappointment to my father, and I was too powerless to stop him and the others from hurting me.  No matter what I did, I was just a fool who couldn’t become happy.  I don’t deserve to live, so this pitiful death is befitting of me.  
  
Still though...I’m afraid.    
  
_“Sasuke?  Sa-...what?”  “What the...Sasuke...?  SHIT!  Sasuke, can you hear me!?  SASUKE!”_  
  
Everything is black now.  I can’t see anything anymore, and the voices are fading quickly.  It’s just me, all by bitter, hideous self, and I hate it.  I hate myself.  I deserve this punishment, but I don’t want it.  Father and Nii-san will be a lot better off without me, but I wanted to live to become someone worthwhile.  I could never live up to the Uchiha name, and I could never be as good as my brother, but could I have changed that?  I was always just a mistake, that big blot of ink that tainted the Uchiha name, and I’ll be erased now.  Mistakes should be erased after all; that’s the way it should be.  I’m just the error, the thing that doesn’t belong, and death is the eraser to get rid of me.  But...can’t a mistake be fixed?  Mistakes are erased to be corrected, right?  Even if that’s true, someone as clueless as me doesn’t deserve to live anyway.  I don’t deserve to live.  I want to live.    
  
Friends?  They were all fake.  They constantly told me that I was too skinny, that I didn’t have to push myself so hard, and that I didn’t have to be perfect.  I don’t understand why they would want me to be an even huger disappointment.  They couldn’t have ever really cared for me if they would try to deceive me like that.  They lied to me.  Father always told me I was revolting, and he wouldn’t lie to me...would he?  I can’t even comprehend why Naruto would stay with me for so long...why he let me cry on his shoulder, let me screw up his life.  Back then, I just wanted everything to end.  
  
_“SASUKE, DON’T DIE ON ME, YOU BASTARD!  Sasuke, no!  CAN’T YOU DO CPR ON HIM!?”_  
  
It’s funny; I’ve wanted to kill myself for so long, but now I’m not sure if I really want to die or not.  If I had the energy, I’d probably be panicking right now, but there’s hardly any time left.  Now, staring up into nothing, I realize this world I lie in, this dark emptiness that surrounds me, is me.  I am nothing.  I never had the strength to make myself a better person.  I was just weak, and for that, there’s nothing good nor bad inside of me...just emptiness.  It was my fault that Mom fell into a coma in the first place, a sin that can never be forgiven.  She was the only one who ever really cared about me, and for that she’s dying.  She always told me I was so handsome, so beautiful, and she was proud to have me as her son.  I’ve shamed her; I’ve turned into a monster, a disgusting, grotesque monster.    
  
I could never become happy.  
  
_“No...fuck!  DAMMIT, WHEN IS THE AMBULANCE GOING TO GET HERE?!  Did you even call 911?”_  
  
If all this pain and agony I’ve had to endure will disappear, then I’m happy to die.  Father would never hurt me without a reason.  All this time he was just trying to liberate me so I could go somewhere where I wouldn’t be a disappointment, somewhere I could be myself and have that be okay.  That’s right.  Yeah, that’s exactly why he did this to me.  He really does love me after all.  Besides, it’s completely my fault that I’m dying here, so I can’t blame him for my imminent death.  I’m scared, but I can trust him...can’t I?  
  
I know I’m lying to myself, but I just won’t accept it.    
  
For that, I do deserve to die.  
  
So, I guess this really is death after all.  I’m not so sure anymore.  I’m not sure of anything.  Maybe I’m not actually dying; maybe I’m just hallucinating.  I wouldn’t be surprised after all that crap that happened, but that might just be wishful thinking.  I’m pretty sure this is death though.  It feels strange...I feel so tired...and sleepy...  
  
_“No...Sasuke, don’t die on me now, you bastard!  Don’t do this to me!  Sasuke, don’t leave us!  You promised me...!”_  
  
_“DON’T GO!”_  
  
I can’t hear anything anymore...dammit...Naruto, if you’re there...you helped me, I admit it.  I suppose I trusted you a little... I don’t know anymore, but I DO know that...you were...the greatest friend I ever had.    
  
Naruto...good night.  
  
...  
Dammit.  You can’t die without your life flashing before your eyes, can you?

* * *

**.::Twelve Months Earlier::.**

This is it.  Gazing up at the huge, grand Victorian house before me, I know I’m no longer in Japan.  This really is the end of the life I had in Tokyo, and I need to wake up to the reality of living in Vancouver, a city all the way in Canada.  
  
I shut my eyes and simply let myself breathe as Nii-san parks inside the garage, the sun fading from beyond my eyelids.  Everything will get better by moving here.  Already I no longer have to live alone in a school dormitory, barely able to wait for Nii-san’s too short phone calls; he never could visit me often.  I won’t have to wonder about Mom anymore, even though Nii-san would always assure me she was okay.  I won’t have to worry about my family at all.  Assuming the people here don’t know about the Uchiha Corporation, I won’t even have to worry about the fake people at school who tried to date me or befriend me for my status and money.  My mind can finally be at peace.  
  
”Welcome home, Sasuke.”  
  
The roar of the engine quiets down, and Nii-san swiftly exits the car.  “I will help you with your luggage and show you to your room.  In Western culture, you would normally call me by my first name, Itachi, but here at home, you can still call me Nii-san.”  
  
I nod and unbuckle my seat belt, grabbing my half empty knapsack from the back before exiting the car.  Nii-san already has my suitcase and is starting up the garage steps, so I obediently follow him into the rather unwelcoming house.  
  
I didn’t want to move here.  I really loved Japan, my home, but my entire family is in Vancouver (except for during the school year when Nii-san is attending university; he goes to Harvard for that), plus I hate worrying about Mom everyday from all the way over in Japan.  I can’t believe it has already been five years since the accident.  It feels like yesterday that it happened, even though I don’t remember it very well.  All I remember is the pouring rain, Mom lying in a pool of blood, people yelling by our Porsche, and my fingers curled around my copy of _Genji no Monogatari_.  I fell unconscious after that, but in the end, I only ended up with a concussion.  The concussion was bad enough that I still have to take pills everyday to prevent migraines, and sometimes I still get dizzy. Mom...was not so lucky.    
  
I shouldn’t think about it.  It makes my head hurt.  
  
Inside, the house has exactly the same cold environment as its outside: designed to seem inviting, but void of any life.  The mahogany walls are flourished with gold trim, but are barely visible because of the multiple bookcases filled with various books, books that are probably filled with nothing but blank pages.  It looks so incredibly neat, so unlived in that this feels more like a museum.  
  
“As you can guess, this is the library,” Nii-san gestures to the books without stopping, continuing through the only threshold in the room.  Closing the garage door behind me, I walk behind Nii-san into the entrance hall.  The walls this time are a deep brown, and a closet lies closed to the right of the front door.  A spiraling staircase looms in front of me, the rails similar in color to the walls.  Nii-san continues up the staircase, confident that I’m behind him.  I refuse to let him down.    
  
Upstairs are surprisingly white walls, bare of anything.  It seems that the decor downstairs is just for show.  Before I get a chance to comment on the stark contrast between the two floors, Nii-san speaks. “Downstairs is also a dining room, a kitchen, a den, half a bathroom, and the basement.  Here you will also find the stairs to the attic, your bedroom, my bedroom, two guest rooms, three bathrooms, the master bedroom, and Father’s office.  There are also various closets.  I’m sure you don’t need me to show you around after you see your bedroom.”  He smiles gently, a smile he’ll only ever show me or Mom.  “I am sure you’ll become well acquainted with the house if you just explore it for yourself.”  
  
As I nod and wonder how the house can manage to be so clean with so many rooms, Nii-san disappears into the last room on the left, presumably my bedroom.  For some reason, I can feel my heart pumping out of my chest.  There’s no reason to be anxious, but…  
  
The room is no different from what I expected.  A double bed with plain black sheets lies in the left corner, contrasting the blank walls starkly.  A desk sits opposite from the bed with only a tiny lamp on it, both beneath an ordinary ceiling fan.  An undersized closet is on my right, where the wall turns to the left after a couple of meters, hiding some of what is on the left side of the room.  To summarize it, the room is rather dull.  The only thing that adds any life to it is the window, in which emerald green trees that adorn the neighbor’s lawn are visible, as well as the other rich houses in the neighborhood.  
  
“There is a personal bathroom on the other side of that wall,” Nii-san explains before I even ask.  He has already set down my luggage by the door, but he glances at me before he turns to go.  “Father is not coming home tonight because of a conference, but you will be able to meet him tomorrow.  The Uchiha Corporation is one of the richest companies in the world, so he is not home often, but he has made the point of making it home as soon as possible so he can see you.  I am also leaving for university the day after tomorrow, so tomorrow will be our only family gathering for a long time.  Dinner is at 6:00, so if you wander outside, just make sure to be back by then.”  
  
“Is the hospital around here?” I say.  “I’m going to go see Mom first.”  
  
Nii-san looks surprised for a moment.  “I did not think you were ready for that, but I suppose it has been five years seen you have last seen her.  Just go left from the front entrance for approximately three blocks, and you should be able to see the university hospital.”  
  
“Thanks.” I nod.  “I’m going to unpack some, and then I’ll go see her.  I'll be back by 5:59.”  
  
Nii-san smiles kindly before leaving me alone.  Just before he creaks the door closed, he says, “Again, welcome home, Sasuke.”  
  
I smile slightly.  I guess my big brother missed me too.  
  
As the door clicks, I toss my bag to the ground and collapse on the bed, which is surprisingly comfortable.  I’m surprised; it’s obvious that this house never has guests based on the lack of decoration on this upper floor, but Father seems to have invested in a quality bed.    
  
All I want to do is shut my eyes and go to bed, but I have to stay awake if I want to get with this time zone.  Honestly, this is the longest Monday of my life, and I’ll be lucky if I don’t have any jet lag tomorrow.  Even just going through the day’s events in my head makes me dizzy.  Waking up at 5:00AM in Tokyo to catch my eight hour plane ride, having it delayed by several hours, and then arriving mid-afternoon in Vancouver on the same day is tiring.  
  
Groaning to myself, I will myself to nod off my pushing myself off the bed.  I grab my bag and pull the zippers open, unveiling _Genji no Monogatari_.  I hold it in my hands for a few minutes.  There are still a few fading blood stains, and some of the pages are curled from the rain that night, but I love this book.  Mom gave it to me as a child, and I’ve read it so many times since then that I’ve lost count.    
  
I put Genji no Monogatari neatly on my desk before returning to my bag, where I have to stick my hand into it to search for those migraine pills.  Finally, I fish out those horrible white things, popping one in my mouth before flicking the light switch and heading out to see Mom.

* * *

 “Excuse me, but could you tell me where Mikoto Uchiha's room is?  I’m her son.”  
  
The smell of disinfectant in hospitals is nauseating.  I’ve never liked hospitals, especially with the stench of disinfectant and the chaos the nurses and patients created in the lobby.  It’s not like I ever swore that I wouldn’t go back to a hospital after having been in that accident, but I do my best to stay away from them.  
  
“Room 326,” the receptionist says without even looking up, her voice monotone.  
  
I nod as a thank you and ignore the people bustling around me as I stride toward the elevator doors.  I haven’t been this close to Mom since the accident, and I don’t know what to do or how to react.  I am admittedly nervous, but I take a deep breathe and try to relax.  
  
The button has already been pushed to go up by some nurse beside me, whose pink - pink? -hair sits at her shoulders.  She glances at me, pauses, and then smiles that plastered smile all nurses have.  Her name plate is close enough to me that I can read the name Sakura Haruno.  Judging by her face and name, she’s probably half Japanese.  She also looks too young to be a nurse...this girl can’t be any older than I am.  
  
“Good afternoon!” she beams just as the elevator door opens.  We both step inside, but I don’t bother to look at her.  Just a slight nod should suffice as acknowledgment.  I'm too irritable from fatigue and too nervous for what is to come to do any better than that.  
  
She frowns a little.  “Which floor?”  
  
“Third.”  
  
I can see her push the button for the third floor, but she doesn’t push any of the others.  I guess we’re going to the same floor.  She seems to almost be staring at me for no apparent reason, but she also seems puzzled.  Out of annoyance, I chew my lip.  
  
The door chimes open, and we shuffle out into the long, painfully white hallway.  Unlike what I expected, there doesn’t seem to be much medical staff crowding the hallways.  Room 326, huh?  It seems like odd number doors are to my left, so I guess it must be on the right.  I head that way behind the nurse, much to my displeasure.  
  
Finally, room 326 comes into view, and I’m still behind that nurse.  There’s no mistaking it now; she must be tending to Mom.  Sakura steps inside, leaving me out in the hallway.  I clench my fists; I don’t want her to be in the room with me when I see Mom, and...I just can’t go in.  Maybe Nii-san was right.  Maybe it is too soon.    
  
A family reunion...well, I didn’t walk here for no reason.  
  
I turn the doorknob and brace myself as I enter the room.  
  
Inside, the walls are still as blank as ever, and there’s nothing inside but a small drawer and a bed, medical equipment, Sakura and…  
  
Mom?  
  
A comforter is drawn over a body, leaving only the face and arms visible.  Her dark hair frames her pale face, and her hands are clasped on top of the bed sheets. Small tubes travel up her nostrils as a monitor beside an IV drip records her vitals, beeping every so often beside her.  She looks exactly the same as in my last memory of her, if just a little bit older.    
  
It...it’s really Mom.  
  
“Are you Itachi's little brother?  You look just like Ms. Uchiha.” Sakura spits out quickly, her face flushed.  I gulp for air suddenly; I hadn’t realized I was holding my breath.  I glance at her quickly only to see her sea foam colored eyes gazing at me curiously.  This busybody is expecting an answer from me.  
  
“Yes,” I reply hesitantly.  “My name is Sasuke Uchiha.  And who are you?  There’s no way you can be a nurse here.”  
  
“I’m doing summer co-op for a credit in school,” she says.  “I’m actually on break right now with my supervisor, but I wanted to double check on Ms. Uchiha quickly.  She’s been doing better lately!  She’s really stable, and -” she pauses to stare at me quietly, probably noticing the vague grief in my eyes.  “I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t be talking about this.  Anyway, welcome to Vancouver!  Itachi mentioned you were coming and said we’ll be going to the same school, Konoha Private High School, as of tomorrow.  He comes here often, and -”  
  
“Can you leave me alone?” I interrupt her, turning away from her.  I waited five years for this moment with Mom, and the last thing I want is to have it ruined by Sakura.    
  
She looks stricken, but nods out unabashedly.  Hearing her shut the door, I pull up a chair by Mom’s bed and let myself collapse into it.  I stare at my mother’s face without a word for what seems like eons.  It seems so peaceful, like she’s just taking a nap and might wake up soon.    
  
I...I don’t know what to do.  I want to cry.  I want to run out of here.  I want to talk to her.  
  
Talking to her.  That might be a good idea.  Maybe she’ll hear me...or maybe I’ll just look stupid.  
  
Nobody is here except the two of us.  I’m the only one who’ll know how stupid I’m being.  
  
“I’m so tired, Mom,” I say, opting for my native Japanese rather than practicing my English.  With a small smile, I put my hands over hers and drop my head on the bed.  “I missed you.  How are you?  It’s been a while.”  I know better than to expect a response, so I just watch the rise and fall of her chest.  Why was she the one to end up in the coma instead of me?  Because the car hit her directly, idiot, I tell myself, but still, there isn’t a moment in which I haven’t wished that I had been in the coma instead.  
  
I’m really not quite sure what happened that night, the night of the accident.  I know I was in the car with Mom, and we were going somewhere...then a car hit us.  At least, that’s what I was told.  I don’t remember what really happened in the car that fateful day.  It was Mom’s fault apparently for going through a red light, so the driver of the other car got away with what he did.  Mom never drove so dangerously though, so...it just doesn’t make any sense.    
  
“I’ve been doing well,” I say, pushing those memories aside and shifting in my seat.  “I got perfect scores on all my tests and assignments in Japan, and I never got into trouble.  It wasn’t too lonely living with just Nii-san for four of those five years since the crash.  You know that Father moved you here because he thought that being back in your hometown might be good for you, right?  The medicare here is also fantastic, and the hospital is by the ocean...he thinks it’ll help you wake up.  Anyway, Nii-san left Japan when I became old enough to live alone in a school dormitory.  He wanted to go to Harvard, but he went to Todai until I was old enough to stay by myself. He transferred to Harvard in his second year, so he commutes between Boston, here, and Tokyo when I used to live there.  It was a bit weird to be alone for an entire year in a school dormitory, but I managed.”  
  
I grimace at those foul memories.  When Mom just wouldn’t wake up, Father moved her here to Vancouver and created a base for Uchiha Corporation at the core of the city.  Of course, he stayed here to make sure she was okay, leaving me with just Nii-san.  Neither of us wanted to leave Japan at the time, so we didn’t, but after Nii-san left and I had lived alone in Japan for a year, Father wanted me to move to Vancouver.  He didn’t say why, and I knew better than to ask.  At least Nii-san’s classes don’t start until next week, so I can still see him for a few days before he leaves for university.  
  
“I came from Tokyo to be here with you, and I’m staying here for good.  I didn’t have many friends to say goodbye to anyway.  In fact...I didn’t have any friends at all.  But you’ve always said that the Uchiha are family and that we only need each other, so it doesn’t matter.  However, the lady from the disgusting tea shop you always hated insisted on giving me a ton of tea before I left.  Of course, it was terrible as usual.”  
  
I hear a foreign sound, and it takes me a few seconds to realize that I laughed.  I hadn’t done that in a while; there’s never been any reason to.  Being with Mom, I open up easily, if I pretend that she’s only sleeping.  It’s foolish for me to do that...I’m just running from the truth.    
  
“Why...won’t you wake up?”  
  
Suddenly, the sound of metal clacks against the tiled floor.  I whip my head around to see that idiot, and by the look on her face, she was trying to keep her arrival a secret.  Her mouth is a perfect O, and her eyes are overflowing with guilt.  She’s bent down, ready to pick up her dropped name pin, but she seemingly froze as soon as I turned around.  
  
I feel my heart drop in my chest, anger boiling in the void my heart left behind.  My hands furl into fists, and I just barely hold myself back from lashing out at her.  She dared to intrude in here without even knocking, and she saw me when my guard was down.  I’d never talk about things so private, let alone laugh with such an airhead, but now she knows about me, about my family.  Everyone at school might as well already know.  
  
Taking a deep breath, I prepare to growl at her, but then hesitate.  She’s half-Japanese, but she might not actually speak Japanese.    
  
“What did you hear?” I struggle to stay calm.  
  
“Uh, I...,” she gulps, “I only know some Japanese, and I came in just a minute ago, so I didn’t really hear anything.”  
  
“What did you hear?” I ask again, my eyes on fire with anger.  
  
Sakura shuffles her feet, then looks into my eyes with a somewhat flushed pallor.  “I heard that you moved here from Tokyo, but I swear I won’t tell anyone what I heard.”    
  
“Good.”  
  
She nods solemnly and hurries away, and all that is left is a bad taste in my mouth.    
  
I stay with Mom for another hour before saying goodbye.  I don’t say anything more though; I just hold her hand and lay my head right beside hers as if there was nothing wrong with the world.

* * *

_Ding dong._  
  
Monday morning.  The school bell rings irritatingly, presumably the warning bell for next class, and it makes my head hurt even more.  To put it crudely, jet lag sucks.  Even so, here I am, just sitting at a desk alone in my first period psychology class.  No one is here yet, not even the teacher.  
  
The design of this school is rather magnificent, almost castle-like in architecture, which gives it an interesting touch.  In all reality, it’s just a typical, gray building.  The walls are your standard white, but at least it looks like the lockers were repainted recently; they are an unscratched sky blue.  Regardless, I will be spending at least two years here, so I must come to like this school.  Biting my tongue, I unfold the crumpled piece of paper called my timetable and attempt to pinpoint where the rest of my classes are.  With psychology and math this morning with physics and gym in the afternoon, this semester is rather easy.  However, that means next semester might as well be a death sentence: English, business, chemistry, and biology in one day is heavy, but I’ll manage.  Of course, I'm taking orchestra as an extra credit two mornings a week before classes start, but that doesn't feel like a chore to me.  
  
I pick up _Genji no Monogatari_ from my school bag and open it to the beginning when I hear someone stumble into the class.  
  
“Hey, are you a new guy?”  
  
Oh no, don’t tell me that new students here are as ‘exciting’ as the transfer students in Japan.  I don’t want attention for being new.  I just want to blend in.  
  
“You ARE a new student, aren’t you?” some idiot leaps straight at me (too close, too close!), and sticks his face merely millimeters from mine.  “I’m Hero, Hero Knight!”  
  
Hero's cerulean eyes seem to almost twinkle from stupid happiness - how can you be so happy to see a stranger? - and though I want to lean back and away from him, I stop myself.  This is not Japan anymore, and assimilation is necessary to get by.  However, this guy is definitely the worst; he’s your typical foreign boy with blonde hair, blue eyes, and tanned skin, but it’s just that smile, that _annoying_ smile that is the signpost labeling him as a nuisance.  Besides, how does someone end up with such a stupid name too?  Hero Knight?  Is that supposed to be a joke?  
  
“Hello,” I say stoically.  I try to sound decent, but this guy, he’s really the type of person I hate most, and I don’t need him to make my fatigue and headache even worse.  “Shouldn’t you be getting to class, or is this your class too?”  
  
Ignoring what I have to say, Hero's ADHD mind takes over when his eyes wander over toward my schedule.  “Oh, so you’re in this class?  Psychology first period with Kakashi?  Me too!”  Before I can interject with some retort that, despite the shred of hope I had that I was wrong, this mutual class is an obvious observation, his eyes seem to nearly bulge out of his head.  “We have nearly the same schedule for the year!  We don’t have physics together this semester nor business next semester, but our six other classes are exactly the same!”  
  
I feel my heart fall in my chest, and knowing that I’m stuck with this loser all year sickens me.  
  
“Oh, people are here already!” I hear a cheery voice from behind.  
  
Glancing behind me, I can feel my mouth tug downward.  It’s not just this guy now, but _her_ , that Sakura girl.  Though she first seems to throw Hero some unimpressed look, her bright emerald eyes widen at the sight of my face.  She eyes the floor as if there’s something interesting on the plain tiles, and after a moment of hesitation, she looks back up at me.  
  
“Sasuke, right?” She smiles tentatively.  “I’m Sakura, remember?  I’m sorry if we had a shaky introduction yesterday, but I hope you feel welcome at this school.”  
  
“What’s all this about?” Hero starts to rise from his seat in front of me, clearly uncomfortable about being out of the loop.  
  
I raise an eyebrow, but then shake my head as a few more people file into the room.  “Just forget about it.”  
  
She sighs a breath of relief. “Okay, I’m so glad now.  Oh, what classes do you have this semester?”  
  
“What’s going on here?” Hero starts to fume impatiently, but it’s almost comical.  Ignoring him, I hand Sakura my schedule.  She’s at least a bit calmer than Hero.  
  
Sakura eyes him, miffed.  “I’m talking to Sasuke, not you, Naruto!”  Without a second thought, she scans over my schedule briefly, then grins, but not annoyingly like some people I know.  “We have this class and physics in the afternoon together.  We have chemistry next semester too, as well as orchestra in the morning!”  She motions at me to take back my schedule.  "What instrument do you play?  I play the violin."  
  
"Me too," I mention as I slip my schedule back into my pocket.  She seemed like a completely different person when she snapped at Naruto like that.  It was like a mix of annoyance and dislike was painted across her face, but washed away when she looked at me.  Don’t tell me she’s going to be like the girls back in Japan that practically stalk me everywhere.  
  
Wait...who is Naruto?  
  
"I always introduce myself using my username to see if I actually know the person online," Naruto explains hastily as soon as he sees my death glare, "or to see if they'll actually believe that that's my name!  You were the first person to believe me, so I wanted to see how long I could trick you.  I'm Naruto Uzumaki!"  
  
"Like I care," I hiss through my teeth. I officially _hate_ this idiot.  My eyes must be even more poisonous than usual, because Naruto just makes a face before hastily turning to face the front of the class.  
  
I consider asking Sakura more about her curious behavior just in time for a hoard of classmates to rush into the room as the final bell rings, making me grimace.  Are people seriously this late over here?  I mean, I vacationed here when I was little, and by watching American dramas, I’ve been able to keep up with the language, but I guess the culture is a different thing in Canada.  
  
But where is the teacher?  
  
“If you’re wondering about Kakashi, he’s always late, no matter what class he’s teaching,” the pink-haired girl mentions before taking her seat beside me.  “I had him last year for another course.  It’s okay just to sit around and do something until he shows up in five to ten minutes.”  
  
“Beware the fact that sometimes he doesn’t show at all,” Naruto says from in front of me.  
  
I take note of this and simply pull out a plain, clear binder and a pen.  Father told me which courses I had to take through Nii-san, but they were the courses I would have chosen anyway to please him.  Though I’ll only be the heir to the Uchiha Corp if something happens to Nii-san, I have to be prepared for that and live as if I will be the heir even if it’s not something I want.  Really, though I want to live up to my family name, I’d rather be a professional violinist.  Music is more of my passion than anything, and Mom really encouraged it while we were in Japan.  I took lessons for years, and I’m at a quite a high level now just from that and practice; it's been enough to win me a few competitions and titles.  It was the only nonacademic activity Father ever let me take seriously.  In terms of getting a university degree though, I'd rather go into science than commerce.  
  
“We should go to the mall after school!” Sakura's voice interrupts my thoughts.  I glance at her briefly, and she seems to have this stupid, embarrassed look on her face.  Oh, God, no.  Is there no end to these love struck girls?  
  
“Sakura!” a fierce, female voice screams from behind me.  Some blonde girl with hair just past her hips is sitting there, and she seems to be quite irritated at Sakura.  She suddenly sees me notice her, and she gets _another_ stupid look on her face.  
  
“Hi,” she smiles nervously.  “Are you new here?  I can show you around.  My name is Ino Yamanaka, but just call me 'my girlfriend.'”  
  
I freeze and stare at her, and I know there’s probably some hatred in my eyes stabbing at her.  By leaving Japan, I thought I could get away from the annoyances who try to be your friend for money or some other ulterior motive, but apparently they’re everywhere.  I suppose that’s to be expected.  
  
As Sakura and Ino begin to bicker over trivial things, Naruto's voice sticks out most of all.  “Just ignore them,” he flashes a sheepish smile.  “They’re really obsessed with Asian boy bands and argue all the time over them.  But anyway, we should hang out after school together-”  
  
“NO!” Sakura and Ino instantly burn holes through Naruto, flames practically dancing within their eyes.   I guess people, or at least these two, don’t really like Naruto.  Who would like him, anyway?  
  
“Okay, good morning class!” an extremely lazy, apathetic voice resounds in the room.  “I’m sorry I’m late, but there was a ladder in my path this morning, so I had to find another way to get to school.”  
  
Some laugh, but most people just groan.  I, however, refuse to do either.  As he struts down the aisles to the front of the class, I can see he has a scar running down his cheek, and his droopy eyes reflect his sloth-like behavior.  Strangely, he has a medical mask covering the bottom half of his face; I suppose he is sick, but as far as I know, people don’t wear medical masks in public very often in Canada.  Not to mention his lateness and laziness, is this guy really a teacher?  
  
He lazily scrawls his name, apparently Kakashi Hatake, across the chalkboard and points at it.  “Call me what you want.  Mr. Hatake, Sir, Kakashi, Mister, Captain Kirk, I don’t really care, but I guess most people call me Kakashi or Mr. Kakashi.  Alright, I guess I better go over the course outline, so at least pretend to pay attention.”  
  
For about half an hour, Kakashi drones on about what subject matter we’ll be covering this term when he suddenly pulls out a pack of cards.  “Okay, now that that is done, I don’t really feel like teaching today, so let’s just do some card tricks.  Someone come up here and pick a card.”  
  
The class suddenly burst into happy cheers, pleased to not have to do anything for the half hour left of class.  Someone with a furry hood saunters to the front of the class with a smirk, probably happy to get out of work.    
  
“Now, I don’t want to hear any objections, class, or else.” Kakashi smiles, but there is a dark atmosphere leaking from underneath his mask, sinister enough to make sure no one objects.  
  
After about ten minutes of unimpressive card tricks, I’m starting to get irritated.  I mean, I came here to learn, not to watch some cheap magic show!  And worst of all, nobody is saying anything.  I mean, Naruto is sitting in front of me laughing, Sakura looks unhappy but is unwilling to say anything, and other buffoons are chatting with each other!  I refuse to put up with this, no matter how much the others will.  
  
“Excuse me,” I darkly state as I stand from my seat (forgetting that you’re not supposed to stand when addressing the teacher in Canada, but that’s inconsequential), “but unless this has nothing to do with psychology, I refuse to sit here watching your card tricks when I could be doing something more productive.”  
  
The class suddenly turns silent, placing their large, shocked eyes on me.  Kakashi slowly, almost robotically, turns his head to stare at me frigidly, and the atmosphere suddenly feels cold.  
  
“WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT NOT OBJECTING!?”  The yell shatters all silence that once existed, but fades again into utter soundlessness.  I hold my breath, but stand my ground.  If this is the way teachers teach here, I’d rather go to another school.  
  
He grins.  “You pass.”  
  
Wait, what?  
  
“Everyone else fails, but their behavior was expected anyway.”  
  
There are gasps of shock around the room, people yelling at how they were duped, and others scratching their heads at just what kind of test they were put through anyway.  
  
“This relates to the Milgram experiment on obedience to authority figures,” Mr. Hatake smiles coyly underneath his mask.  “It’s the first lesson we’re going to cover today, but in short, it’s when people do what an authority figures tells them, no matter what.  I told you guys not to object to a card trick show even though it was odd, and you guys were too scared to say anything.  Those who wanted to say something were afraid to.  Of course, this is obviously a simplified, school-appropriate version of the original experiment, but whatever.”  
  
“However,” he continues while looking straight at me, “this young man had the strength to stand up for what he thought was correct.  What is your name?”  
  
“Sasuke,” I reply stoically, yet confidently.  “Sasuke Uchiha.”  
  
I see Naruto stare at me with awe from my peripheral vision, but the moment I so much as glance at him, his expression transforms into a scowl.

* * *

The looks of admiration and hatred should have prepared me for later.  By lunchtime, most people already knew my name.  
  
Maybe I should have tried to keep a quiet profile in psychology class (which did turn out to be fairly amusing when the actual lesson began), but even more so in second period math class.  Answering that so-called difficult math problem within seconds in front of the class was not a good way to silently blend in.  Rumors probably spread of my ‘manliness, confidence, good looks, and supreme intelligence’ for me to already have people practically bowing down to me.  Perhaps Naruto is one of those males who want to come at me with a knife because I’ve only seen those blades in his eyes when he looks at me, and then I have to sit at some lunch table as people tried to befriend me foolishly.  
  
“Sasuke, right?” some random girl cooed.  “Why don’t we go somewhere where we can be alone together?”  
  
“Sasuke,” another one blushed the color of a rotten tomato, “when I saw you this morning, I rushed home to bake you some cookies.  If you come over later, I’ll let you have some.”  
  
“Hey, Sasuke,” a plain boy gulped.  “We’d love for you to try out for the basketball team.  Why don’t you come with me and meet some of my friends?”  
  
Disgusted, I did not even entertain any of these comments like I occasionally would in Japan (what makes these people even think I’m athletic?  They haven’t seen me in gym class yet).  I silently ate, knowing that ignoring them would probably prevent them from coming back.  
  
Physics class with Mr. Umino was better.  He prattled on about what we'll be learning for the rest of the term, which was fairly interesting, I suppose. I was never a fan of physics compared to biology, but I suppose it has it's benefits.  
  
But now it’s time for gym class, and gym class is sure to be the least annoying part of my school day.  I’m not particularly muscular or ‘buff,’ but I’m strong enough, and I actually enjoy exercising - I used to go for half hour runs everyday after school in Japan.  Gym and orchestra are the only nonacademic courses Father will let me take, or rather, force me to take (according to him, a respectable man must be fit and cultured), but I enjoy both anyway.  I’m fairly decent at most sports, but my skills in basketball are unrivaled despite only being one hundred and sixty-eight centimeters.    
  
The first thing I notice as I walk into the change room is the horrible, horrible smell.  Even though it’s only the first day of school, it already smells like road kill, and it takes sheer willpower to hold back my gag reflex from activating.  
  
No one notices me as I quickly find an unoccupied, lone locker in the right corner to stuff my schoolbag inside.  Fellow classmates laugh, yell, and shout some incomprehensible, ‘gangster’ language at each other, and I don’t want to be caught in that.  I just need to change, lock my school supplies, and enter the gym.  That’s it.  
  
“Hey, Sasuke!”  A heavy hand grasps my cool, unclothed shoulder.  I didn’t want to draw anyone’s attention, dammit!  I shouldn’t have expected any less of this guy.  
  
“What do you want, Naruto?” I shut my eyes.  If my ears have to burst with the sound of his obnoxious voice, may I at least spare my eyes from his presence.    
  
Suddenly, Naruto removes his hand as quickly as he had clutched it earlier.  “Whoa, you have a huge spider on you!”  
  
I snap open my eyes, only to have his disgustingly mischievous grin in my face.  Just from that look I know there isn’t a spider on me.  I hate people like this guy.    
  
“Got you!” he chuckles grandly as if spring had suddenly halted a harsh winter.  “Man, am I pumped for gym class!”  
  
Pumped?  Like pumping gas?  What is he talking about?  This must be an expression...but I can’t let this fool know that I don’t understand.    
  
“I thought you were mad at me?” I mutter, returning to dressing myself in gym clothes.  I slide my plain, white shirt on and slam the locker closed.  “You’ve done nothing but glare at me all day.”  
  
“Oh, you’ll see,” Naruto snickers.  “Mr. Guy does the same thing every year for the first gym class of the term.  I’ll kick your butt!”  
  
“Whatever,” I roll my eyes, heading into the gym without him.  
  
With that I notice that some are grinning at me, probably hoping to talk me into being their friend or even recruiting me into a club or sports team.  Others are glaring at me, probably informed of my arrival by that foolish Naruto.  They hate me because I’m more skilled than them?  Well, they’re lucky to have a more balanced lifestyle than me, perhaps.  They hate me because their girlfriends are fickle?  This should be a hint that they should find more loyal significant others.  I didn’t seduce a single girl today; in fact, I pushed them all away.  
  
Mere seconds after entering the gym, I’m greeted by a living nightmare.  A middle-aged man with a bowl cut in green spandex is standing in the centre of the gym with so much energy that it might just murder me.  
  
“Welcome to gym class!” the teacher’s voice booms within the gymnasium.  “I am Mr. Might Guy, and I’ll be your instructor for the year!  Now, I’ll get to class expectations, but first, get your butts outside and RUN!”  
  
If this were an anime, I think most of my classmates would have those cartoony sweat drops running down their faces, soon to be turned into real sweat.  I don’t even have time to take in the huge gym as I sprint outside, not to be outdone by anyone in agility, especially Naruto.  I assume Mr. Guy will be taking this opportunity to assess his class for the semester, and I will get one-hundred percent in this course.  
  
The September wind crashes onto my face as I hit the outdoor field.  The bleachers are gigantic and almost suffocating, and the field I’m on is clearly a football field - it too is enormous.  I don’t know how many laps I’m going to have to do, but I’m sure just one will make some drop dead.  I’m a good marathon runner and a great sprinter, so I’m sure I can do as many laps Mr. Guy requires.  If not, I’ll have some practicing to do tonight.  
  
Another possibility is that there is no set number of laps because he wants to assess our endurance.  That would be perhaps cruel in the eyes of some, but it’s fair in mine.  That would also explain why we’re running in a football field rather than a place more suitable for track and field - because it’s a lot bigger.  I suppose this is what Naruto meant when he said he’d ‘kick my butt.’  
  
One lap done.  Some guys, mostly the out-of-shape ones are already panting on the ground, but most are still running.  I’m ahead of everyone by a -  
  
Naruto.  He’s right behind me.    
  
I suppose he’s all brawn and no brain, the idiot behind me.  I will NOT let him beat me.  I have to pick up my pace.  I’ll kick up all the dirt and grass in this field if I have to.  What is that phrase called...oh, yes.  
  
“Eat my dust,” I hiss quietly at Naruto, not caring if he hears me or not.  
  
Suddenly, I see the tiniest speck of blond wisps come into my vision.  “It’s on.”  
  
“RUN!  RUN WITH ALL THE YOUTHFUL SPIRIT YOU HAVE!” Mr. Guy's voice bursts like an explosion.  I guess I was right about his intentions.    
  
The blond dot gets larger and larger until I realize that Naruto and I are neck-to-neck with each other now.  I can see that irritating smile on his face again, but his eyes are burning with determination.  If he thinks he can beat me, he is clearly mistaken.  He must have been lazing around to have been behind me earlier, and that is bad character.  
  
After fifteen laps of this gigantic field, Naruto and I are the only ones left; the rest of the class dropped out at least five laps ago.  I’ve noticed Mr. Guy’s gigantic grin of approval as Naruto and I sprint so fast we leave small clouds behind us.  Naruto shows no signs of giving up, and I definitely won’t give up either.  Just a little more, and I’m sure he’ll tire out…  
  
“That’s ENOUGH!” the voice booms again.  “You’ve shown us what you can do, boys, and I’m impressed with the strength of your youth!  I know you, Naruto, but you,” he stares at me, “what is your name?”   
  
Naruto and I both come to a sudden halt.  Immediately, the fatigue kicks in, and I can feel my heart rapidly beating, my chest heaving up and down.  I will not give Naruto the satisfaction of seeing me sit.  It’s a good thing that my asthma is only stress-induced and pollutant-induced, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to battle him like this.  
  
I glance at the idiot beside me to see him standing in nearly perfect condition.  How can he seem not to be even just the least bit worn out?  It’s like he never even ran, that stupid grin on his face!  I swear, he’s not even sweating.  
  
“My name is Sasuke Uchiha,” I say loudly enough for them to hear me, but quietly enough as to not waste anymore energy.  I should probably train to improve my endurance so I can crush Naruto the next time we battle.    
  
A tanned hand abruptly pops out in front of me, and Naruto is on the other side of it.  “Great match, Sasuke!  But I bet if we had just run for another minute, I would have beaten you!” he grins, competitiveness dancing in his eyes.  I don’t want to touch him - that idiot is probably right - but I have enough manners to shake his hand.  Nodding, I reach out and give his hand a single shake.  
  
“I swear, I’ll annihilate you next time.”  “Not a chance!” Passionate resolve returns to Naruto's eyes, enough to nearly make me stop addressing him as a fool constantly.  “I’ll defeat you with all I have!”  
  
“Boys, you can have your rematch next month,” Mr. Guy guffaws loudly, throwing his head back.  “Mark down October 7 on your calendars!”  
  
I turn and stare at Naruto straight in his eyes, smirking.  “Knowing you for just these few hours, you’ll mark the wrong date.”  
  
“Hey!” he frowns, but that quickly is replaced with a Naruto-esque grin.  “Knowing you for just these few hours, I bet you’ll overtrain and collapse during our match!”  
  
“That will never happen,” I scowl.  “I swear, I’ll crush you.  That’s a promise.”  
  
“Oh yeah?  Well, I officially declare you my rival, and I’ll beat you!  That’s MY promise, and I never go back on my word,” Naruto’s determination sets in his face, and I know that I’ll need to train for the next month if I truly want to defeat him.

* * *

I admit that challenging Naruto like that thrills me.  To have a challenger, a capable challenger, pleases me more than one can imagine.  The thought of putting in work to defeat him completely exhilarates me, but I can't train tonight, nor can I read another chapter of _Genji no Monogatari_ like I thought I would.  I just can't.  
  
After trekking the long journey home, I finally made it home a few hours ago.  It was late and already time for dinner, but at least I didn’t get any homework today except for an insignificant amount of math, but I finished that in class.  I just need to study to upkeep my knowledge and understanding, but I'll be okay if I skip studying for just tonight, right?  
  
I ate a quiet dinner by with Nii-san.  Nii-san was too busy packing for Harvard to make a better dinner than macaroni and cheese from a box, but it still tasted okay.  He asked me about school, and I told him the truth about my day.  He told me just to work hard so I could finish high school, and then he mentioned that Father’s flight had been delayed, so he would be home later tonight to greet me.    
  
I really wish Father hadn’t come.  
  
When Father got home, he was in a drunken stupor.  Father started to drink more heavily when Mom fell into a coma, but...he was never like this.  I, unfortunately, was glad to see my Father again and stupidly ventured into his sight before I could smell the alcohol on him.  Even stupider, Nii-san had left to pick up some last minute supplies from a store downtown.  It was just Father and me in this cold, uninviting house.  
  
The memory is still so fresh in my mind...I can see it happening right now before my eyes.  I can feel the pain all over again.    
  
Father...why?  
  
His sweaty hands grabbed me by the shoulders and slammed me against the foyer wall, the force catapulting a picture frame off the wall and shattering the glass.  His grip was so tight I thought his fingers might puncture my skin.  
  
“Mistakes are meant to be erased,” he hissed at me in Japanese, his face mere millimeters from mine, the stench of vodka filling my nose.  All of a sudden, one of his hands left my shoulders and curled into a fist.  I knew what was coming, but I couldn’t stop it...I just couldn’t...Father…  
  
His fist met my face with a thwack, and my other cheek hit the wall from the force.  My face pulsated with pain, and I am ashamed to say that I screamed from agony.  What did I do to deserve this?  Father only ever punished me physically if I did something wrong, and he usually used a belt...what did I do for this to happen?    
  
“DON’T SCREAM!” he shouted at me, dropping me to the floor like vermin.  Glittering glass pierced my hand as I landed hard on the floor, but I bit my lip as to not dare utter a sound.  
  
Father returned to his room afterward, and I sat on the floor in shock for a few minutes.  Without thinking, I hastily cleaned up the glass, but before I could treat my injuries, my hands found that picture that had once been in the glass frame.  I felt a tear slip down my cheek as the last family picture all of us together, of me, Nii-san, Father, and Mom greeted me.  I held onto it and headed to my bedroom, putting it under my pillow before attending to my hand and face.  I could already see a light shade of purple appearing on my right cheek, and my hands shrieked in pain as I applied rubbing alcohol to them.  I had to use tweezers to try to pry out all the glass that had made my hands their home, but I’m not so sure I got them all.  
  
I can’t tell Nii-san about this.  There’s just no way.  He wouldn’t have let me come if he knew Father was like this, and I can’t distract him from leaving tomorrow by telling him what happened.  I can’t just move back to Japan either, so this incident will have to be a secret.  Father doesn’t get drunk often anyway, so this was probably just a one-time incident.  I’m sure Father will apologize tomorrow morning, and it will be like this never happened.  It’s disappointing that this had to be our first meeting after five years, but if I just erase it from my mind, it will be okay.  Mistakes are meant to be erased, right?  This whole incident was just a mistake, so I’ll erase it from my memory.    
  
A knock on my door resounds in the room, making me jump.    
  
“Sasuke?  I’m back,” Nii-san says.  “Are you going to bed already?  Father is home, but he is working in his office now, where he doesn’t like to be disturbed.  I hope you already had the chance to greet him.”  
  
“I did,” I mumble from my bed.  “Good night, Nii-san.”  
  
My door opens ajar, letting too bright a light spill in, and Nii-san’s face becomes visible.    
  
“Good night, Sasuke.”   
  
 The door shuts closed.  
  
I toss in my bed under the sheets, wide awake as my cheek pulsates in pain.  I remember the last thing Father said to me before he left me alone, or maybe I just thought he said it.  I can’t be sure anymore, especially since what I heard seems so unlike Father to say, but I definitely heard it in the back of my head, and it was something like…  
  
_Welcome to the nightmare._


End file.
